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Log 15


Actually Went Outside and explore the parts of My village-town i have never seen. There are so many beautiful places. The early morning is so Quite. Absolutely worth it. Allahumma Barik.

I haven't masterbated in two days now. Even doh the temptation is real. Something wierd happened. I got pornographic thoughts out of the usual places where i get it. It's usually when I am laying on my bed or brainroted. But today i got it when i was outside in the market. I asked myself. Why am i getting this thought? I am not even aroused. This is not even the right place to where i can masterbate. I stood there for an while and asked myself. Why barin? Why did you give me this thought? I believe it was an waswasa from Shaitan at this point. 

I am still on discord a lot. Living my fake Personality of a Woman from Sweden. And people like me there. And now I know they will easily move on except for two people. A girl in the server passed away. And people moved on after 2 days. So if i vanish they won't care much. It's good to know that. I shouldn't get emotionally attached to them. Another sign from god. I Even prayed for that girl after the accident when she was in coma. Further proving i am not a psychopath. I can still feel Empathy.

My plan moving forward is to not masterbate. I will keep the discord around for my amusement. I need to better my relationship with my sister. Make something with web development and YouTube for which i am proud of. And let Allah Guide me. Allahumma Barik.

Log end
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